he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize