Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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