is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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