That's intense
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
