thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
