I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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