That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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