JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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