The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
