I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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