If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
