new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
