some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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