Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
