i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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