Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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