dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
