You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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