OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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