Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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