apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize