Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
