you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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