Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
they need to just BURY HIM!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
