In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
