I think scott just propositioned me for sex
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
