In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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