im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize