i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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