i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
