At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
