we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
