CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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