well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
