i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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