Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
