hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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