I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize