dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
