you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
