found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
