I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
