i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize