I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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