Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
