I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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