Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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