I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
