I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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