my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
