i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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