Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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