yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
