Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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