would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
