I have demons in me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
