There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
