And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
