Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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