At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
