Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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