Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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