Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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