Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
