you guys were way drunker than both of me
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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