I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
