Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
