I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Less talking, more tequila
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
